What does it take to REALLY be happy? This is something I’ve though about a lot over the past 18 months or so. I don’t know that there is a single, correct answer to that question. The only thing I can say for sure is that it’s different for each of us.
For me, personally, happiness has come in a couple of different ways. The biggest of which has come from learning to NOT dread my faults and owning them instead.

As a side note, I feel like the whole “owning it” thing is kind of a cliche turn of phrase, but I really can’t think of any other way to describe it.

I know that I’m far from perfect. I know if made some HIGHLY questionable decisions in my almost 40 years (fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu…) on this planet. I also know that I’m not the person that I would have liked to be at this point in my life.
I used to absolutely DREAD all of these things about myself and because of that, I was a very sad and withdrawn person. I’ve tried, with varying degrees of success, over the years to move past all of this but, in the end, “dread” always seemed to win.

Back around the first of the year, I was having a chat with someone that I’ve known for the better part of 30 years now when I had a bit of a revelation. Here was this person that I’ve know for most of my life and, despite all of my faults that I absolutely hated, they still liked me. If they didn’t care about the bits of me that I hated, why should I?
That’s it. That tiny little thought cause a fundamental shift in the way I looked at myself.

Why the hell should I care that I’m overweight? Don’t like it? Do something about it, dumbass! So I’m doing something about it. (Again.)
Why should I let the bad choices I made years ago keep dragging me down? They certainly don’t define who I am today. I’m MUCH better today than I was back then.
Who cares that I don’t have my life totally together? I honestly don’t know very many people who do and the majority of them either wish they had made different choices when they were younger or are dull and depressed. (I also know some unbelievably awesome and fun people that DO have their shit together but they’re the exception rather than the rule.)

The point I’m trying to make is this: it’s our flaws that make us interesting.
Being weird, awkward, quirky, nerdy, crazy, paranoid, neurotic or whatever is what makes people fun.
I can’t ever recall thinking “Man, that guy really has his life all figured out. I should hang out with him more often!”
Usually it’s more along the lines of “That dude’s fucking nuts but, holy crap, that was fun!”

So… back to the point. What does it take to be happy? Well, for me it’s all about learning to embrace the things that make me “me” instead of dreading them. I know I can’t do it on my own, but that’s OK. I’ve got some pretty amazing friends who know how to get the best of me.

I’ve been wanting to dabble in astrophotography for quite awhile now. My fascination with space coupled with my love of photography seemingly make this a good fit. So, taking advantage of the relatively balmy Wisconsin winter evening, I headed down to the local park to run a few test shots. The image below is the most successful of those tests. The location wasn’t ideal (WAY too much light interference) and it was still bloody freezing out, but I think this is a subject that warrants further delving in to.

Orion on a late February night.

So… here we are. The first 2 months of 2012 are almost in the books and I haven’t posted anything here in over a month. Not that I’ve been hiding under a rock for the last 4+ weeks, mind you. The hiatus from this site has actually been very productive and I feel better moving forward now than I have in months.
My last two projects here have been aborted prematurely for different reasons. The photo-a-day project, while a good idea in theory, was a bit over ambitious. Not from the standpoint of doing the shots. I find myself constantly being artistically inspired by different people and things and the desire to shoot has never waned. The area that I struggled with was logging in and posting every single day. I started to feel like I was shooting solely to create a post which made the process wholly un-enjoyable.
Having stopped that, I feel more intensely focused on the things I want to shoot and the techniques I want to develop. I’ve already got half a dozen or so photo field trips planned for the upcoming months and I can’t wait to share those images with all of you.
My other project, the ill-conceived “Year in Review 2011″, should have never been started in the first place. It was a bad idea from the get-go and was poorly executed as well.
So, what does this mean? What the hell am I rambling on about?
It’s simple, really.
I started this site for a couple of very simple reasons. The first was to share my photos with anyone who happened to come across Nootwerks for whatever reason. I make no claim to be a world-class photographer. I do feel like I have an above average amount of skill with a camera though and, like each and every one of us, I have a unique perspective of the world we live in and I take a great amount of joy from sharing MY vision with you.
The other reason behind this site’s existence is a desire to write. I have some infinitely talented  writer-type friends who constantly inspire me with the things they share. I’ve always loved the writing process but never saw myself as anything even approaching being good at it. It took the advice of another old friend to make me realize that you don’t have to be good at something to do it. If you enjoy it, if you have a story to share, write it down. Put it out there. “Good” comes with practice and not doing something out of fear of failure (or just being bad at it) is a sure way to guarantee that you will never, ever get good at whatever it is you want to do.
These are the things I wanted to do with this site from the beginning. These are the things that always made me happy and excited to post here. These are the things that I need to and am going to get back to. It’s time to stop worrying about what other people are going to think about what I put up here and to start putting up the things that I enjoy doing.
This is where it begins.

rut

[ruht] ,noun, verb, rut·ted, rut·ting.

New, small things are growing over in the gallery!
http://nootwerks.com/gallery/Small-Things

2011 wasn’t all bad. June was a pretty darned good month if I do say so myself. Better weather, a better mental outlook and, most importantly, re-reconnecting with a very dear friend. The biggest bummer of June was that I didn’t shoot much for some reason.

May was road trip month. First was the air show in Indy followed by a weekend in my beloved Chicago at the end of the month. Even though I was out and about, going places and doing things, May was the month that I felt most alone. In a way, that was kind of a good thing, I think.

April was an improvement over the previous two months. Despite the overwhelming feeling of being completely lost, a fair amount of time was spent reevaluating priorities and refocusing my energy.

As bad as February was, March made it look like a perpetual “best day ever.” Dream shattered, friendship lost. I realize that it could have been worse but, thankfully, this was the low point of 2011.